mortiz007

Do you remember that time on the playground when the kids were dividing up into teams and you just waited and waited to be chosen.  Maybe you were never left to the end.  Maybe you were one of the lucky to be picked first or second.  Maybe you were even the team captain and chose the kids on your team.  Did you pick the strongest, the fastest, or did you pick the weakest or the one who picked their nose out in right field instead of playing along?  Have you ever wanted something so desperately, you thought of nothing else?  What if that thing you wanted so bad was a family, even if the concept of family was a foreign idea? As families all gather in GZ, we have met many and come to learn their stories.  Single women adopting their first, young married couples adopting a sweet wee one, families adopting their token girl or boy, to those who have adopted multiple times adding to their mega families.   But what I am most intrigued by is how and why th...

I'm going to keep this short as I am not feeling well today.  Pray whatever has taken over my body leaves quickly as it has zapped my energy and Wen Xiang has a lot!  So thankful for Justin who has been an awesome help! This week has been an emotional roller coaster.  First being away from home just leaves me feeling vulnerable and sad after this many days.  As I reflect, at the beginning of the week there were four of us families eagerly waiting to meet our little ones here in Nanning.  Three girls, one boy.  Now it's Thursday night and only three orphans are snuggled in bed with their new mamas and one orphan still sleeps alone in her crib at the orphanage.   I will not go into details of why or what happened but to say it was a choice I do not understand.   My heart aches as I think about the little one only 11 months old, now abandoned twice.  Labeled as a disruption through no fault of her own.  I think about Labels, diagnosises and...

The day started out hot.... 80plus and rising to 90 something degrees.  So thankful for the mall attached to our hotel and air conditioning.   Justin and I enjoyed our breakfast as we tried to kill time before our 230 pick up time.   These afternoon pick ups are a lesson in patience.   It's like labor, but with nothing to do! Today was another reminder that with adoption we are never in control.  I ask you to pray for another family here with us as they went to their appointment only to be whisked away to the hospital with their little one.  Life is so fragile and we can never take for granted a moment we have been given or an opportunity to parent a child. We were the fourth of the four couples to meet their children today.  I actually was okay with this as we took pictures of the others coming out with their stone faced children in their arms.  Watching the next few moments, as the children's guarded faces turned to smirks and a few half smiles ...

As the days approach...yes in 7 days I will be holding our youngest son, God willing. At times it's hard to wrap your mind around it at times.   The adoptions chats range from mothers high on excitement to petrified with doubt and fear from what will their new child think of them, what will they eat, will they even come to me? This is not our first rodeo, and maybe that is why I am a bit guarded this time around.  I know what and can go wrong. I am only trying to be realistic about adoption- yes is it glorious- but we know it stems from loss trauma, grief and brokenness.  It will not go smoothly, my baby will be handed to me sick and broken and I can't fix him.  Children do not always run to their parents and if they do it is only an act because the fear imposed in them. (things we now know)  Adoption IS beautiful but it does not unfold into beauty the moment we take custody.  It takes years and years of peeling back the layers of hurt, pain of emotional lo...